Someone Else's Head - A Scary Place to Be

In an hour I'll be leaving for my bi-monthly writers' group.  This time the passages I will read are a little bit different.  When I write, I try to take on the mindset of the character so that what I'm having him say or do is appropriate for that person with his or her particular personality.  If I can't get into that persona, it just reads like a writer telling a story.

In the new book I'm working on, there is a serial killer.  So you see the problem.  I have to sort of think like a killer.  If you know me, you're having a laugh about now.  If not, you're wondering what kind of crazy I am.  I don't know if I've accomplished the right attitude or not, but I can tell you I came out of the room after my last writing session feeling pretty down.  To go to that place I had to imagine a lot of anger and resentment. I worked for about three hours and maintained a pretty hateful attitude toward most everything and everyone in the killer's world. I had a depressed feeling for hour after I'd put it all aside. 

The experience started me thinking about the many people who truly have suffered difficult lives.  If a person grows up watching or receiving constant hatred and rage, s/he must internalize a lot of that.  The abused often become abusers, after all.  I'm not saying everyone subjected to regular mental or physical violence is a potential killer. 

I'm actually wondering just the opposite.  How is it so many people rise above it?  I have to ask myself what someone finds within to become a successful human being. For some it seems to be the strength of religious faith.  Others attribute their success to hard work or education.  I wonder if anyone knows?  Psychologists continue to debate whether it's "nature or nurture" that influences our development more profoundly.   They do know, however, as all of us do - love and kindness always helps.  

For a while I don't plan to go back to that twisted killer mentality.  I think I'll spend a little time extending a hand to a kid I know.  She's stuck in a tough situation, and maybe a hand is all she'll need to climb out.  And if not, maybe she'll remember someone tried.